An Afternoon With John Daly (Including His Sunday 'Diet' and the 'Wal-Mart Crowd')

Posted Aug 18, 2008 1:00AM By Will Brinson (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Golf, PGA

Notes from the FedEx Cup at the Wyndham Championship in Greensboro.

On Saturday, I heard from a very reliable source that John Daly's intake during Monday's Wyndham Pro-Am included (over 18 holes): 21(!) cigarettes, eight Diet Cokes and four bags of M&M's.

My response was, initially: "Get the #%^@ out" and secondly, "Okay, now I have to actually follow Daly on Sunday and write this all down."

Yeah, a pretty repulsive way to spend an entire Sunday afternoon, right? Well, I've had worse. Until today.

What follows is kind of like a "Where's Waldo?" game for cigarettes and Diet Coke. Don't bother looking for any water -- I'm pretty sure Daly hasn't had a sip of water since at least 2002. Originally, I was going to post a picture of every cig and every Diet Coke, but ...

It wouldn't be a Daly round if I didn't have to fight through what some anonymous people referred to as "the Wal-Mart crowd". And by "fighting" I mean "taking tons of pictures of people in jorts (jeans + shorts - belt) and Mason Crosby jerseys". And the fans, folks, are way, way more entertaining at this stage of his career.

(Seriously, WTF.)

10:30 a.m. One DC and ... oh, what's that? Daly's caddy is the same guy who was managing his finances from Hooters? Seems like a solid business decision.

Another solid business decision? Purchasing this shirt:

I honestly have no idea how he didn't smoke a cig until the second hole, but right then and there I knew we weren't getting 21 (it's also worth noting he didn't smoke on 1, 9, 10 or 18 ... ) Of course, my day had already been made -- see above.

Diet Coke number two? Or just an excuse to show this freaking bag? You decide.

"The laaaaaaaaaand of the freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ..."
(Actually, you may recall that this is a Woody Austin special Buick shirt.)

"Annnnd the hoooome of the braaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvve."

See, if I were a jerk or not a completely objective and man of the people type guy, I would caption this photo of a 10 year old kid's hand as: "Wow, I could have sworn they sold fingernail clippers at Wal-Mart."

Putting out the vibe.

"Dude. I've got a press pass. Get bent."

Looks like an inside job.

And, since Daly didn't burn a heater on 18, I might as well tell you that he smoked 12 cigarettes, drank four Diet Cokes, didn't drink a single drop of water and didn't take a bite of food for the entire 18 holes. Yeah, I was kind of disappointed too, at least until this happened right in front of the 18th tee:

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

8-18-2008 @ 11:05AM

Ulysses said...

Great story and pics. At least Daly uses a normal putter. I wasn't sure whether the leaders were putting with their drivers or my eyes were going bad. Good chipping and putting by these moderns does not exist. If they had to putt with real putters, they probably be on the mini-tour, in my humble opinion.

8-18-2008 @ 11:47AM

dave nagle said...

Tasteless. Let's keep the game restricted to only those who meet the writer's approval. Heck, we should require everyone attending register Republican so we can keep the game exclusive.

8-18-2008 @ 2:01PM

Mike said...

Daly bashing--How original.....

8-18-2008 @ 8:45PM

MARK said...

IT MUST BE NICE TO HAVE NO FAULTS. CAN I BE YOU FOR A DAY?

8-18-2008 @ 9:05PM

MWC said...

Wal-Mart crowd? That is 80% of the population. 90% overweight. 2% athletic. Thank you for pointing out what America is really like. Check out your local muni course on a Saturday. Its just bad all the way around.

8-19-2008 @ 5:23PM

Birddog said...

It's hard to decide who's less attractive: Daly (when will this car crash be over?) or Brinson (how did this bozo get a press card?).

Mixing the warmth of Uncle Joe Stalin with the literary style of Waldo the Chimp, Brinson manages that rare daily-double: pandering insults combined with solid, third-grade level writing.

All in all, most would say Daly's golf beats the crap out of Brinson's "reporting."

8-20-2008 @ 10:46AM

regis ruin said...

Imagine a guy running himself into the grave, and laughing about it. That's Daly. He still has so many endorsements that keep him financially equipped, so he thinks 'whats the big deal?'. A former great talent, his life exposed on all the low life net sites. He'll never change.

8-20-2008 @ 11:40AM

Lets follow Will Brinson for the afternoon...He smoked four
cocks before the turn...Imagined himself in the crack of John Daly's ass...and wished that he gained respect from one player on tour...John Daly is who he is, and not ashamed! Mr. Brinson on the other hand is a closet fruitfly...Stick to covering amateur qualfiers...

8-21-2008 @ 12:55AM

joe said...

Still pissed your Mom banged the truck driver on Rt 66 huh!Was'nt for that you wouldn't be here, Worst part is the best part ran down your Mom's leg.Get aREAL Job and do somethin.If it was't for King Daly You would'nt have anything to write about and would be a BAG man at Wal-Mart How Stupid & Sad

8-24-2008 @ 11:48AM

tylor said...

Will Brinson, you're honestly not a very good or a very funny writer. These captions are occasionally mildly amusing (the Hooter's bag was something, I will admit) but more often than not you're just over reaching to be needlessly insulting. The fingernails thing? Please... You come as vapid and unsubstantial. Oh, wait, you are.

9-18-2008 @ 11:14AM

fred said...

THIS PIECE OF SXXT REPORTER COULDN'T COVER HIS AXX.IF HE COULDN'T TRY TO CUT DOWN SOMEBODY,JOHN DALY IS WHAT AMERICA IS ABOUT ,BEING YOUR OWN PERSON,AND NOT BEING SOME FRUIT CAKE QXXXR LIK THE DICK HEAD WRITING ABOUT HIM

9-18-2008 @ 1:21PM

Esteban said...

My brother in law is 58 and his lifestyle of alcohol and tobacco abuse is starting to show its ugly head. When I asked him about his life, he said " if I had known I was going to live this long...I would have lived harder". Carpe Diem ..my friends.