Jack Nicklaus Admits That He Doesn't Want Tiger Woods to Break His Records

Tiger Woods and his enormous head are back on the range hitting golf balls. Which likely means that he'll be teeing it up in a real live tournament in a few months, much to PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem's delight. (Philbert, on the other hand, is less thrilled. His moobs couldn't be reached for comment*.)

Woods currently has 14 professional majors, just four shy of Jack Nicklaus' record, and depending on how he bounces back from his knee injury, he could conceivably surpass the Golden Bear in 2010. (Optimistic, yes ... but still quite plausible.) Jack, however, wants to make sure Woods doesn't rush things. You know, for health reasons.

"Tiger, I want you to come back and be full strength," Nicklaus said as he recalled their conversation. "I obviously don't want you to break my records - nobody wants their records to be broken - but I don't want you not to break them because you're not healthy."

So, basically, Jack never wants Woods to get healthy. Or maybe he wants Tiger to get healthy before winning five more majors. Actually, I get the sense Nicklaus was joking; he's always been gracious when talking about Woods, the world's best golfer (career victories be damned). And Eldrick seemed to recognize as much. Either that, or he thinks Jack is getting senile.

"I think he's just talking, just being Jack," said Woods, ... "I've really never had a conversation with Jack about breaking his records."

Well maybe you should. You can add it to the other conversation you thought you'd never have: talking to Mickelson about his bra size.

* that's a joke, people