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Golf

Esquire Magazine Really Hates Tiger

Posted Mar 15, 2009 12:00PM By Ryan Wilson (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Golf, PGA

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Tiger Woods heads into the final round of the WGC-CA Championship nine shots off the lead. Such news wouldn't merit a mention if we were talking about Ian Poulter or Paul Casey or Ernie Els, all top-flight players who will each face a nine-stroke deficit when they make their way to the tee box Sunday.

But this is Eldrick, where no news is still newsworthy, which is why we're up to date on every Tiger-related development, no matter how inconsequential. And it's that fact that has a lot to do with this one: some people are burned out on Woods.

I'm not just talking about fans, who might prefer Phil's congenial on-course disposition to Woods' expressionless, mechanical approach to a tournament round. But some segments of the media -- ironically, the same group responsible for blanketing us with wall-to-wall coverage of Tiger -- have had enough.

Esquire and Woods have a history -- in 1997, Charles Pierce wrote a less than laudatory column about the then 21-year-old phenom -- so perhaps it's no surprise that Eldrick was pilloried when the magazine recently asked several writers to weigh in on his return.

Choicest nuggets courtesy of Chris Jones (and via the Detroit Free Press):
The best vitriol comes from Jones, who regularly profiles athletes for the magazine and says he learned to hate - seriously, "hate" - Tiger when he profiled him for Esquire in 2003.

"I've been asked to write about the return of Tiger Woods," Jones writes in an article titled 'My Vacation from Hate,' "and the thought of his Chiclets reflected in another shining trophy makes me want to punch a hole in the moon even more than the storm that will soon swallow it.

"Because I entirely hate Tiger Woods." ...

Jones goes on to write: "I hate how he sniffs after he makes a putt. I hate how he calls himself Woody when he talks to himself. (Because really, who gives himself not one but two nicknames? ...) I hate his red shirt on Sundays. I hate his caddie, the worst New Zealander in history, and I hate the Nike flunky who trails behind him like a donkey on a rope.

I hate how he could change the world in ways both great and good, and instead he's settled for being a corporate shill, the smallest of concentric circles. I hate that he snorkels. I hate how golf announcers say things like, 'Tiger's on the prowl!' when he's fourteen shots back. I hate his fist pumps and howls, and I hate the 'Get in the hole!' dunderheads he brings out.
Chris Jones sounds like an angry dude. And while there is sure to be some truth to his words, I'm guessing he penned this diatribe with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Either way, I'll take this opportunity to address some of his points:

- I've never heard Tiger refer to himself as Woody, but nonetheless, it's worth pointing out that he didn't give himself "two nicknames." Not unless he came out of the womb with both a golf club and fully developed vocal chords.

- No announcer anywhere has ever declared "Tiger's on the prowl!" when he was 14 shots back.

- "Dunderheads" have been yelling "get in the hole!" long before Woods was dominating the tour. But as long as we're randomly blaming him for things, I'd also like to suggest that Tiger's on the hook for James Traficant's wig and Martin Lawrence's movie career.

- There are worst things than on-course "fist pumps."

- Finally, the reason Tiger is a corporate shill is because he can be. Just like if somebody offered me or, say, Chris Jones millions of dollars to hawk razors or watches or sporting equipment, we'd do it. Except that neither of us would have a foundation to, you know, "change the world in ways both great and good."

via Local Knowledge

Tags: Ernie+Els, ErnieEls, Ian+Poulter, IanPoulter, Paul+Casey, PaulCasey, Tiger+Woods, TigerWoods

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