A U.S. Open Qualifying Disappointment

They say trying to qualify for the U.S. Open is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle, but catching the lightning is tough when you're so drunk you can barely hold the bottle.

That was my game on Monday, as I tried to grab one of six qualifying spots during a U.S. Open qualifying event in my current state of residence, Arizona. I was the drunkest guy in the bar, trying to hold up a bottle while lightning bolts came crashing down around him. It was what some would probably expect from a guy that hasn't played a competitive round in nearly a year. I've heard a few quotes about tournament golf, but my favorite is probably the one that compares golf and tournament golf to tennis and ice skating. Nope, they aren't very similar.

Standing on the first tee at Tucson Country Club, a site I picked because I find it easier to play golf with fairways lining fairways instead of desert and rattlesnakes ready to eat up errant tee shots, I was nervous. In fact, I won't lie; I was very nervous. I had just seen two buddies of mine, playing in the two groups in front of me, hit a tee shot 20 yards right of the opening par-5 and 20 yards left. These guys play tournament golf all the time.

Basically, I was a virgin and they were all Wilt Chamberlains.

Luckily for me, my tee shot found the fairway on the opening hole, and I actually smoked it. In fact, I didn't just smoke it, I smoked its a**. In tournaments, especially USGA sanctioned events, most of the pins you see are going to be as tough as possible. On the opening hole, this was very much the case. A tucked pin behind a bunker on the left meant you had to play for the middle of the green and two-putt for your birdie. My 5-iron from 216 went hunting, and while it was directly on line, came up an infant's shoe size short and in the bunker. Up-and-down, birdie on the first, and I was off.

That was basically the highlight of my day. After that, in golf parlance, the wheels started to come off. I made a sloppy bogey on the second, and an even sloppier bogey on the third. I couldn't convert a birdie on the fourth after putting my tee shot in perfect position. I made par on the par-5 5th hole as my playing partners both made birdies.

Now, if you've ever played a competitive tournament, then you can probably understand what I will explain in the following paragraph. If not, then I hope the following is somewhat insightful. When you are standing on a tee with your buddies, it's just golf. You are playing that hole in the hopes of doing something special but if not, who cares, the cart girl is just a hole away.

In tournament golf, however, you're standing on that tee with everything at stake. Your actually feel your swing. You see all the parts of the hole. With everything you do, you're trying to set yourself up for the best possible result. I heard one of my playing partners mention on a par-4 to his caddie that more bogeys happen when players just miss the rough because they are trying to make too much happen from the misplaced tee shot. You never hear quotes like that playing with your Sunday foursome.

Both the guys I played with qualified for sectionals. The USGA took a stingy six guys out of 96 players on Monday to go on to the next round. Out of six dudes making it another day, I played with two of them. It was probably more interesting to observe their nerves down the stretch than my own.

My friend and I had talked on the phone and he made a point that is so very true: After nine holes, you know if you're going to qualify or not. It's an 18-hole event and you have to play your best golf and hope that not a lot of guys went volcanic. After nine holes, you have a good grasp if it's going to happen.

Playing in some qualifiers and such where I actually was successful, I knew a thing or two about what the others should do. Once I was out of it, my main goal was to not get in the way of the guys I was playing with who still had a chance. I knew I wasn't going to make it, but I wasn't going to take 20 minutes over a six-footer for par just because i didn't want another blemish on my card. These guys were ready to hit, and I tried to respect that as best as possible.

On the 16th hole, one of the guys, a professional that plays on the Gateway Tour, had pulled a large crowd around his group. It wasn't because he was on pace to break the course record, it was because this actually was his home course. He was playing well, 6-under at the time, and had hit another green. My dad actually commented at one point, "Is this Jack Nicklaus Junior?" after he hit another shot from 10 feet.

Standing on the green at 16, he was facing an uphill birdie putt. Some Tucson station had brought out a television camera. Thirty observers were surrounding the green. And ... the man three-putted. He missed a short two-footer for par and it was in that moment that I knew that the pressure can sneak into anyone. On the next hole, the same guy hit a blocked 5-iron right of the world, only to get it up-and-down for par and close with a par on 18 to fire a 67. My other playing partner, an amateur that is heading to the University of Nevada next year, had snuck up to 5-under with two holes to play. A sneaky par save on the 16th invoked a fist pump from the fairly quiet college kid, and standing on the 17th, he hit another towering iron shot that found the middle of the green.

He was 20-feet for birdie.

He hit his first putt 12 feet.

It is stuff like that I appreciate when doing these things. Sure, I wanted to qualify, but right now my game isn't in the type of shape it takes to do such a thing. These guys play tournaments every week. I'm lucky to get one in every eight months.

So the next time you're watching an Alex Cejka choke a lead at a big tournament or a no-name golfer find himself in an unfamiliar position, revert back to this column.

There is golf and there is tournament golf, and the two couldn't be further from the same.